Regret

I said that I am gonna be using this platform as my memory chest for the last few months of JC2 and I will do just that. I will pen down my thoughts, experiences and reflections honestly here...

The reason I titled this post with such a depressing word is because that’s all I am feeling right now. Today was actually the first day of semester 2 and this whole week is supposed to be Common Test 2. This is my mid year sort of and I had a month long holiday prior to this for the entire month of June. I think we know where this is going... Honestly speaking I did not do any studying and I mean ANY studying at all for like 3/4 of the Hols. And now I am feeling like dying. I wish I was dead. I am so scared right now of how badly I will do and I cannot imagine the consequences. How f***ing stupid was I?!!! I had my first paper H1 Econs today and it was a good paper. That’s because I have always loved economics and have done consistent work through the past semester as well. The last 3-4 days of Hols were also dedicated to revising for it. I am not exactly 100% satisfied but about 70%. But that’s it. That was my one and only good paper. I know, I know my own condition too well. I am like super duper unprepared for the rest of them : Physics, Chemistry and Math (all H2s). At this point though it’s too late to want to pass. I did do work in the past semester but it weren’t as consistent as Econs and I have been doing badly in them always. GG.com

My only solace right now to be very honest is searching up articles of ex Jc students or ex alumis of their similar experiences. I have really reflected today. I cannot drag this laziness on. A levels are in 115/139 days. I need to get my shit together. I have let go of any greed to get a sub pass even for this CT2 but I will definitely start working hard immediately afterwards to prepare for prelims. Prelims start in week 10 of this term. 8 more weeks!!!!!!!! Remedial classes will be my companions in the afternoon heat for the next few weeks I guess...