Rant

I missed school today :( well this is the first time I am missing sch since I had dengue when I was 8... I had fever and a really really bad headache. But it's all gone now. 

Monday was  very bad. Not because I had exams. Not because I was starting to feel sick. But because I lost it... Well tbh I alrdy lost it on Sunday night then I was suppressing myself till a trigger came and then BAM it all exploded. Now what's left is just awkwardness. 

I applied for ICEP USA but have heard nothing Abt it. Then last fri San told me that when she went for her Germany interview, she saw that 6ppl were short listed for ICEP USA. I was so disappointed cause I really really wanted to go on a NCC trip :( Entire platoon applied for Mt Ophir too but only three got in unlike previous years... All these changes because of stupid merger 

Anyways I texted Mr Ng on Friday immediately after San told me cause I wanted to clarify then when I went for break I saw SSG JQ in the canteen and asked her. She suggested that I could ask SM on fb jus to confirm.  So I did. Since there were Abt two to three other ppl who applied I thought it was only right for me to inform the platoon of the situation. And I did. Then no reply came till Sunday night... They (the same usual few) started going on and on about how I should have asked seniors for permission first and how I shouldn't talk to higher ranks ppl anyhow. Then I got really really really pissed of cause if there's one thing that I hate the most it would be misunderstandings. I controlled my anger and replied "hey guys. Yup I alrdy asked seniors." And then they went onto about how I should have informed them first. Then I quit the chat. Cause if I were to type something back in reply then I would just be having a stupid fight in the virtual world and it's totally useless. All I did was rant on twitter cause I am sick and tired of you ordering me around. You told me not to be rude to seniors (apparently joking was rude) then you broke the gg rules first ... You told me to watch myself infront of my juniors then you act like friends like that outside of training ... Not that I am against it just that why order ppl ard but u urself can't control right? 

Then on Monday I exploded after the papers ... I was supposed to go for PDS at 2:30 but since exams ended at 11 I was thinking of lunching at home then coming back but guess what??? They had to run after me making a scene infront of the class as to where I was going. Then you just had to snap the last string of patience by texting me what time I was coming back. FYI I have never eve ever been late for any trainings at all. 

I can take care of myself thank you very much. 

Then the shirt issue as well. Look I am not rich. I am not poor. But I am still having lots of finance issues. My parents are struggling a lot. My dad works harder than anybody I have ever seen. And you waste my money away. In year 1, without asking the platoon you guys bought $22 worth of clothes for ATC AND IT WASNT EVEN LEGAL TO WEAR SO WE ENDED UP NOT BEING ABLE TO WEAR AND TILL TODAY IT SITS IN MY WARDROBE. Then in part B year, we had to buy so many things to standardize only to end up being used only once. Then this year despite me telling u of how many ppl are against the idea of expensive water bottles u went ahead to buy one that costs $15... And now u want to buy a new shirt for $10?!?! Isn't what we are using now perfectly fine?!? Must you seriously standardize to that extent?!!! 

 

And then now it's just awkward. Anyways I wonder how shu shu is doing. I hope he's fine :/ He seems too detached lol or maybe it's just me. I really like spamming his phone or rather talking to him cause i learn new things all the time (apart from when we talk nonsense) but I feel sorry for being the annoying little kid who disturbs him at like 6+ in the morning and spam his phone through the day lol XD 

But I really hope he's doing well by himself. And that the  "isolation" times will be over soon. Tbh he's schooling so he can't probably stay isolate for long ;) shall disturb tmr as usual ~ 

Apart from NCC my life in General is fine but complicated and busy as usual. I have to work harder cause I am not producing any results at all :( 

And it's 1+ am. I just can't sleep. I just hope I won't ever fall sick again...