What has happened so far

So Monday was PDS selection test and was pleasantly surprised at some part Bs whom i never imagined would be that good… mainly because i mostly paid attention to the weaker ones and therefore didn't really see everyone. I would say that some shocked me in a good way and some in a bad way. I think i unconsciously categorized them into three categories. The ones that were better than usual (unexpected much), the ones that performed as the same standard as usual and weren't exceptionally good and lastly the ones who performed poorer than usual (very very very rare). 

I realized that it was a black and white situation meaning that those who were considered good (it was like only one?) were really good and those who were considered "okay" (quite a few) were just so-so (considering they went to BI already we expected a bit more from them) and those who were considered as "cmi" were really cmi. Of course, it is all just a  result of willingness and training. This was somewhat unfair in my opinion ( I REPEAT IN MY OPINION, NOT ANYONE ELSE'S ) I feel that it was unfair because some are BIs and some are not. Of course, we expected more from BIs and of course no one (except one) met our expectations but nonetheless they had prior experience. I guess it can't be helped due to time constraints. I just really hope that when we do release the results, things wont really become very very chaotic. From the list that i currently have, confirm will have chaotic things. I am worried. In fact, i considered quitting PDS because of that. I don't wanna be sucked into problems again. I already foresee things. Not good. Not good. I am getting too friendly with Bs. Not that i don't want to. But it's like I am getting too attached to them. It doesn't help much when i know like so many of their platoon problems. I really feel burdened. But then again, I am not their NCO so none of my business~~ If (ONLY IF) they do come to me, i won't push them away :) 

Next would be me getting into COC. It wasn't really because of my skills but rather "connections". Also i am not even in the team. Just a reserve. Nonetheless, really really glad that i am given this chance because now i can learn from everyone else. #veteranprecisiondrillers #excitedmuch I think you can see that my tone is slowly shifting to one of annoyed and angered. Yes currently i am angry and annoyed.