Maybe

I am quite happy that i finally made up with O today. I am glad she finally took the first step because i sure wasn't going to. I guess it was partly my fault after all because well i shouldn't have stayed near her at that time. It was a time where i should have either isolated myself or surround myself with people who knows me. Then again, having to go to school everyday doesn't help much, does it? Anyways, that's all in the past and i can only try to not lose control of myself so easily next time.

It was hilarious when Mrs H caught L standing in front of me AHAHAHAH She was so pissed off and amused at the same time :pp L got totally mind blown by my great awesome fantastic amazing plan. Hah. I had it since like the start of july but tbh i just wanted to be the audience and watch you guys run the show for a while :p I know i sound mean and damn bitch, but i was really curious about how things will turn out. Truth to be told, i wanted to watch longer but what J said made me think. "They are humans too you know… they make mistakes…" That pushed me to just stop being a bitch and to start running the show haha. I pretty much enjoyed the show i guess, partly because it was all so predictable and yet i was amused at how it all turned out. I am glad J said that to me because well at least i stepped in before it's too late, you know not when there's too much friction. Sometimes i feel like i have better things to do and that most of the time my work goes unappreciated but i feel the need to at times as well. (or at least when J scolds me)

I seem to have grown apart from certain ppl a lot lost some people. I guess i saw that coming and it was bound to happen and all but it still hurts. It hurts every time i hear their names because i just want to drop everything i am doing and run to wherever they are. Only i know i can't. No fights. No conflicts. No nothing. Just slowly disappearing. You know like how when you used to text every single day and then it all slowly decreases till one day you just stop talking altogether without any reasons. I don't know whether they feel the same way as me but they were and are the most important people to me because i was sincere. Whatever we were, i was serious about it. We couldn't even define what we were and yet we were the most important thing to me. It still is. I found so much similarities between us and i found comfort in talking to you and happiness when i could listen to your problems and know that you will come to me when things get tough. And now it's just all gone. Just like that… Maybe i am over thinking. Maybe i was the only one who felt that way. Maybe i am the only one who was sincere. Maybe i was the only one who was serious about us.