W & R

I have a wish. To Bring w and r out together. I want to do crazy things with them. Laught crazily and just go around doing nothing. I want to make them laugh. Laugh till they run out of breath. 

It's like they are idols and I am their fan. Every fan knows that though idols appear on tv smiling and fooling around we all know that they actually have it tough. They are mentally and physically tired. Then you get tired. Tired of watching from the sidelines. Maybe I read too much into things but there's a tint of sadness in their every smile. A tint of pain when they laugh. It's almost unbearable to watch. To be honest I want to get closer to both of them. Both in a platonic way. I just want to help them and go through what they are going through together. Sometimes I have all the confidence in the world and want to take the first step and walk towards them 

But at times I just become a coward and think what if I am overacting what if I am disturbing them what if I am reading too much intothings 

I just don't want to see them like that. It hurts me. What more is that I read both of their blogs and I just can't. Like I feel like running to wherever they are and hugging them. Last night was horrible. Mom and dad wasn't home so that was a good thing cause I was crying. So badly. I was just crying and crying because I missed them. I wanted to talk to them. I talked to r on twitter but somehow I got the feeling that he didn't want to talk. Somehow I am having doubts. That's what distance does. Now I know why distance bgrs are hard. Because distance make you have doubts. For both r and w. I am going to continue believing in faith. No matter how hard it is. It's like I can't even talk to them so it's really hard for me when I know they are having it tough. Then I rewind all the memories and it hurt me even more. Then it all turns into doubts "what if"s. Then I hate myself for having doubts. I am supposed to believe in you and here I am having doubts. I hate myself for that.